Buckingham Palace isn’t happy Prince Harry printed the receipts of Princess Catherine and Meghan Markle’s bridesmaid dress fight!
This Prince Harry Penis Story Is WAY Too Much About Mom Princess Diana!
12.01.2023 - 18:49 / perezhilton.com
OK, you’ve probably already heard the story of Prince Harry‘s frostbitten penis by now.
Even in a sea of headlines among release of his memoir Spare, it was pretty damn memorable. But if you did miss it, the Duke of Sussex recounted getting some frostbite during his fundraising trek to the North Pole back in March 2011. He wrote:
He was even still having trouble during the royal wedding between big bro Prince William and Kate Middleton! A peek behind the curtain at something we definitely did not expect.
Related: See How Princess Catherine Is Holding Up After Being Slammed In Harry’s Book!
But that wasn’t the whole story. The excerpt we saw before the book’s release was missing a big element — one equal parts nostalgia and oedipal complex!
The wedding wasn’t the end. He wrote about the ongoing pain:
He didn’t know what to do, as everything he’d tried had failed to heal the royal peen. Finally a female friend “urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream,” he wrote — which he blanched at, mostly because of its connection to his late mother, Princess Diana. He told the friend:
She assured him that it works for damaged skin, so he went for it — and got more than he expected when he smelled something all too familiar:
Wow, what a sweet moment about loss and sense memory. Except… he followed it up, in the very next sentence, by going straight from his mother’s lips to his penis:
And that’s how Princess Diana’s lip cream cured Harry’s willy. We’re not sure the line about it being “weird” does this whole incident justice, frankly. Talking about your mom’s mouth and your penis in the same breath is just FAR TOO AWKWARD to let go with just that. If you’re going to include all the aspects of that story — which Harry really didn’t have
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